The missionary friend of every man in this world definitely wants a good woman as his life partner. In Islam apart from being a part of completing half of its religion, marriage is also a place to build a household not only for one or two years but until the end of one's life. Including building a household in Islam that Allah blesses.
Therefore, marriage is not a joke. As a man who is destined to be a leader in the household, he should be able to choose a good woman to marry. A woman who will not only accompany him in the life of the world, but also in the afterlife with the permission and blessing of Allah SWT. So what is a good woman to marry a man according to Islam?
Many of the characteristics of these women have been mentioned, both in the words of Allah SWT (Al-Qur'an), the words of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and the books written by scholars who refer to both sources. Here are some characteristics of a good woman to marry according to Islam, including:
1. Shalihah
A righteous woman is a woman who obeys the teachings of her religion, has noble morals and is able to protect herself from reprehensible actions (immorality). As mentioned in the Qur'an:
…..the good deeds are obedient, they guard the unseen with what God has preserved, and those who
“……. then righteous women are those who obey God and take care of themselves, therefore God takes care of them..." (QS. An-Nisa': 34)
And also the words of the Prophet Muhammad SAW:
“Women are married for four reasons; her wealth, her lineage (hereditary), her beauty, and her religion. So choose because of the factor of religion you will undoubtedly be lucky." (Narrated by Al Bukhari)
From this hadith, even though the order of religion is in the last order, Rasulullah SAW still recommends it as the main factor, which indicates that a shalihah woman is highly recommended to marry.
2. Loving and Fertile
Which man doesn't want a woman who loves him and his family? Of course all men want a loving woman. And which man doesn't want a woman who can give birth to his children someday? Of course all men want it. Therefore, Rasulullah SAW also recommends us (men) as his people to marry women who are loving and fertile (can give birth):
"Marry a loving and fertile woman because I am proud of my many people on the Day of Resurrection." (Narrated by Abu Dawud, in line with An Nasa'i and Ahmad)
"Marry the mothers of children (ie women who can give birth) because I will be proud of them on the Day of Judgment." (Narrated by Ahmad)
3. Beautiful
As mentioned in the hadith in point 1 that the woman recommended to be married by Rasulullah SAW is a beautiful woman. The beauty referred to here is explained by Imam Ghazali in his book Ihya' Ulumuddin that a beautiful woman is a woman who has a face with a beautiful face, charming and beautiful to look at.
However, Imam Ghazali also emphasized that not only because he is beautiful, but also must pay attention to his religion. That means religion remains the first major factor in choosing a potential life partner. (Also read: how to choose a life partner in Islam)
4. Good Nasabnya (descendants)
This feature has also been mentioned in the hadith in point 1 that the woman recommended to be married by Rasulullah SAW is a woman because of her lineage (offspring). What is meant by offspring here is good offspring.
This means that women who come from good families (obey their religion) because good parents or families will educate their children well, including their religion. This is explained in the Book of Fathul Mu'in by Syeh Zainuddin bin Abd. Aziz Al Maliiariy.
5. Noble character
Verdana, Geneva; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.2px; margin-bottom: 11.25pt; text-align: justify;"> The woman referred to here is a woman who has noble morals in her actions and words. As the Prophet explained that such a woman will be able to protect herself and avoid words and actions that can degrade her as a Muslim.
6. Not from close relatives
The woman referred to here is a cousin of both father and mother. Although cousins are lawful to marry, it is not recommended. Because psychologically and biologically a man is less passionate about women who are still related to him so that it affects the offspring that will be produced later. Besides that, it is also to expand the bonds of brotherhood and friendship between people. This is also explained in the book Ihya' Ulumuddin.
7. Light dowry
Choosing a woman whose dowry is expensive is only legal if she is worthy or equal to the woman to be married. because a good woman deserves that. However, do not make dowry a burden in a marriage. Therefore, the Prophet SAW said:
"The best woman is a woman who is beautiful in appearance and cheap in dowry." (Narrated by Ibn Hibban from Ibn Abbas ra)
From the hadith above, we can learn that the best woman is a woman who is willing to accept any dowry from the man who marries her and of course the dowry meets the requirements according to syar'i law.
8. Rich in wealth
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) recommended marrying a woman because of her wealth, as in the hadith in point 1. The point here is not that if a man marries a rich woman it means that he is a materialistic man'. Of course not.
This is hoped so that they will no longer be provoked by the glamor of the world simply because they already have sufficient wealth from the woman's side. But as explained, don't make this a top priority, it is religion that must remain the first factor that takes precedence.
9. Setara atau Sekufu
Equal or sekufu in question is equal. This means that it is recommended to marry a woman who is equal to him. This trait teaches us to be self-aware, aware of who we really are. An example is an ordinary man (the people) fantasizing about marrying a woman who is a princess. This can indeed come true if it is God's will, of course.
But it would be nice if looking for a woman who is equal rather than later not having a match, instead drifting in a mere delusion. This was also recommended by Rasulullah SAW in his hadith which reads:
"Choose wisely for a place that suits you. Marry equal women and marry them." (HR. Sunan Ibnu Majah)
10. Still a girl or a virgin
This feature is especially important for men who have never been married before. Although it is also not prohibited for men - men who have never been married though. What is meant by a girl or a virgin is of course not because she shed virgin blood during the first intercourse, but a woman who has never had intercourse before.
If the problem of virginity blood can come out at any time even though you have never had intercourse because the protective layer of blood can break at any time due to an impact, such as a fall.
Why is it recommended for men who have never been married? The three causative factors are:
She will love her husband very much, prioritizing her love for her husband over anything else.
The man will love more because of the basic nature of men who don't like it when their female partner is touched by someone else.
A woman who is still a girl has a longing for the presence of her first husband, which is basically deep love that happens to first love.
This is also explained in full in the book Ihya' Ulumuddin by Imam Ghazali.
That is an explanation of the characteristics of a good woman to marry according to Islam. Hopefully we can get such a woman as a life partner in the future. Amen.
source: https://dakwah-q.blogspot.co.id