Meaning of Khitbah, Terms of Engagement and Legal Consequences of Khitbah
Meaning of Khitbah, Terms of Engagement and Legal Consequences of Khitbah - A Bride who is going to have a previous marriage usually gives a khitbah to her bride-to-be. A proposalis usually called a sermon in Arabic or in modern language it is also calleda proposal. This sermon or betrothal serves to bind the prospective spouse so that they are not taken or chosen by others.
Meaning of Khitbah or Proposal
Etymologically, khitbah, woo or propose means asking a woman to be his wife. In KHI article 1 (a), khitbah is an activity towards the occurrence of an arranged marriage relationship between a man and a woman. Or, a man asks a woman to be his wife, in ways that are common in society.
Khitbah is the initial process of a marriage. In this way, women who are legally allowed to marry a man can be married.
The Compilation of Islamic Law regulates khitbah in Articles 1, 11, 12, and 13. The entire article which regulates khitbah comes from the fiqh schools of thought, especially the Shafi'iy school.
The party carrying out the khitbah is regulated in Article 11 with the following formula:
Khitbah can be done directly by people who want to find a mate, but can also be done by a trusted intermediary.
About the woman who can be betrothed and who cannot be betrothed is mentioned in Article 12, the complete summary of which is as follows;
Khitbah can be given to a woman who is still a virgin or to a widow who has finished her iddah period.
Women who are divorced by their husbands who are still in the iddah raj'iyah period, are illegitimate and forbidden to propose to them.
It is also forbidden to propose to a woman who is being proposed to by another man, as long as the man's proposal has not been broken or there has been no rejection from the woman's side.
The man's proposal is broken, because there is a statement about the breakup of the proposed relationship or secretly the man who is proposing has distanced himself from and left the woman he is marrying.
There are two ways to deliver the khitbah :Using clear and frank speech in the sense that it is impossible to understand from the utterance except for khitbah such as: "I wish to marry you"
Using words that are not clear and not straightforward, such as saying: "no one is unhappy with you".
Consequences of Khitbah Law or Courtship
Khitbah is an effort that is done before the wedding and according to usually after that the marriage is carried out. But the khitbah is not a binding agreement to be obeyed. The man who proposes or the woman who is proposed to in the period before marriage can cancel the khitbah. even so, the termination of the khitbah was carried out properly and did not hurt any party. The gifts made during the sermon had nothing to do with the marriage dowry. Thus, the gift can be taken back if the khitbah does not continue.
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The relationship between the man who proposes his hand and the woman he proposes to during the period between the khitbah and the marriage is like the relationship between foreign men and women. Therefore, there are no rights and obligations between the two.
The Marriage Law does not discuss sermons at all. Regarding the legal consequences of a khitbah explained in article 13 KHI as follows;
1. The proposal or khitbah has not resulted in legal consequences and the parties are free to terminate the khitbah relationship.
2. The freedom to break the relationship of preaching or courtship is done in good manners in accordance with religious guidelines and local customs, so that harmony and mutual respect can still be built.
 Abdul Rahman Ghozali, Op.Cit. Matter. 73
 Amir Syarifuddin. Op. cit. matter. 57